He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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