i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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