He is an equal opportunity slut.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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