yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
