Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I need moral support for this bender
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
