like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
