Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!

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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I need new friends

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(910): View more from North Carolina

whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes

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(706): View more from Georgia

I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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(210): View more from Texas

I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.

(1-910): View more from North Carolina

They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.

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