I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
