Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
