they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Alive.
So much puke
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
