Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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