dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
