I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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