I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
