Define "chronic" masturbator.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
