just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize