batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize