Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize