New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
