the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I will be naked everywhere
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
