It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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