OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
