Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
