I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
