oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
