I'm lost and stupid without you.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
