his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
