dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
