Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize