6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it's great music for shaving your balls
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
