The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
