she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
