her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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