They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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