How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
