"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize