You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
