problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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