that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
