Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
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