I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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