just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
