Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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