My sheets look like a crime scene.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
