mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
