I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize