I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
