i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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