How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize