Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
