i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
