Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
cat food counts as protein by the way
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
