i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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