Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This girl is more easily done than said...
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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