i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
