the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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