Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
